Anxiety sucks. It sucks really, REALLY bad. Unfortunately, unless you have experienced it, like REALLY experienced it, you can’t understand it. I hope this post will leave you feeling hopeful. No matter how you feel right now, things will get better. I also hope you learn a few techniques to make coping with anxiety a little bit easier.
I have always had a little anxiety, but “manageable anxiety” as I like to call it. For the most part, it didn’t really disrupt my day-to-day life. One example,when I was younger, I hated sleepovers. Hated them! They made me sooo anxious. I would avoid them at all costs. Thankfully that source of anxiety took care of itself. I mean, how many married adults have sleepovers?? The answer should be NONE (ha ha)!
Anyway, in 2019 my anxiety resurfaced again. This time, with a vengeance. I woke up one night in the middle of a panic attack. I don’t think I had ever had a panic attack before, but somehow, I just knew that’s what it was.
Cold sweats
Heart racing
Tingling
Numbness
Sense of impending doom
This was the beginning of a pretty intense 2-month struggle with anxiety. Things were pretty dark during this time. I even had to have my mom and my mother-in-law spend the night at my house when my husband was working because I didn’t want to be alone and I didn’t think I could take care of my kids alone (bless you, Nancy and Susie!).
I still think about it every single day, but it is getting easier and easier to push the anxious feelings aside. I am definitely not “cured”, nor will I ever be “cured”, but I am much, MUCH better than I was a few months ago.
If you are struggling with anxiety/intrusive thoughts/depression I am here to tell you that things do get better even though you feel it in your core that they won’t. I think that was the scariest part, forgetting what it felt like to be normal. I could remember that I used to feel normal, but I forgot the feeling of what it felt like to be normal.
I know I am not the only person who struggles with anxiety, so I have listed a few of the coping techniques that worked for me.
Techniques for Coping with Anxiety
In my opinion, the two most important way to cope with anxiety are seeking help from a doctor and talking to a licensed therapist. However, if you are scared of doctors, don’t have insurance, or if you are on a super long waiting list to see a therapist, I wanted to give you a few things you can do in the meantime. In fact, most of the coping strategies I am about to list are the things that either my doctor or therapist recommended.
Deep Breathing
I did A LOT of deep breathing. Some days it felt like all I did was take deep breaths. It seems like deep breathing should be something that comes naturally, but for me it took a lot of practice for it to become effective.
Breathe in through your nose, then out through your mouth. The key is to blow out your mouth twice as long as you breathe in through your nose.
For example, breathe in through nose (Count 1…2…3…4) blow out through mouth (Count 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8). Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Positive Thinking
I really struggled with intrusive thoughts. I had to (and still have to) retrain my brain. Anytime a negative or intrusive thought comes to my mind, I immediately think of 3 positive things. I try to flood my brain with positive thoughts. At times it feels like I just repeat the same things over and over again – and that is okay! Positive thoughts can be anything that makes you happy, things you are grateful for, etc.
Check out my favorite quotes for positive thinking or my tips for being happy.
Eliminating Negativity
I stopped watching shows that were intense or had any dark elements to them. I stopped looking at Facebook. I didn’t watch the news. I eliminated ALL of my suspenseful crime shows (pour one out for Law & Order SVU).
Don’t worry, all of this is temporary. Once you are feeling better you can add these things back in.
Stop Googling
Don’t do it! All searches lead to death/cancer/tumors/etc. Not good when you are trying to be positive. If you have health questions, please call your doctor!
Talking
Find someone (or several “someones”) you trust and feel comfortable with to confide in. I was surprised to find that the more I talked about how I was feeling, the more I learned that I wasn’t the only person who felt this way. Most of the people I confided in had experienced anxiety and/or depression at some point in their lives as well. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone in my feelings.
It was also nice to have people check in on me. People can’t check in on you if they don’t know something is wrong (they can, but they are less likely if they think everything is great). Vulnerability really brings people closer.
Headspace
Headspace is a free app that helps with guided meditation (Check out more about Headspace here). I’ll be honest, I didn’t see the value in this at first. In fact, I didn’t even download the app until after I stopped seeing my therapist. I’m not sure what my deal was, but I just didn’t want to do it.
What I am here to tell you is that I wish I had used the Headspace app sooner. I don’t exactly use it all the time for its true purpose, which is to improve meditation skills, but when I am feeling anxious, it is sometimes difficult to calm my mind enough to fall asleep, and that is what this app helps me do. I try to complete a short session as soon as I get in bed and, more often than not, I fall asleep before the end.
Exercise
I didn’t have the desire to exercise (thanks, depression!), but I made myself go for a
20-30-minute walk almost every day. I didn’t listen to music or a podcast. I used that time to intentionally think about positive things, things I enjoy, things that made me happy. Again, flood you mind with positive thoughts.
Rest
Get sleep. Only get done what must be done (which includes all the things on this list) and
then rest. Your body and mind can’t heal if they are exhausted.
Medication
Medication isn’t a cop out. Anxiety/Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance
in the brain. A common misconception is that medication will turn you into a zombie or take away any emotion both good and bad. The wrong medications do this. It is extremely
important that you have an open dialogue with your doctor. I had to go through a couple different medications before I got to one that worked for me. In fact, the first medication I tried made things worse. It can be incredibly frustrating but stick with it.
I hope some of these coping techniques will help you through any struggles you may be having now or possibly in the future. Remember, even though it doesn’t feel like it, it always gets better.
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Thank you so much for sharing. Everything you described is what I’ve experienced as well. It’s so nice to find that you’re not alone. These are very helpful ideas. I’m definitely going to try to think of 3 positive things if an intrusive thought comes to mind. I too am working on figuring out what medication will work for me. Frustrating, but you give us all hope. Thank you for that ❤️
Thank you so much for leaving a message!!! Hang in there! Finding the correct medication is a painstaking process!!