Who here is a new mom who feels like she is doing everything wrong? Who here is a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time mom who also feels like she messes up at least once a day? Okay, cool, every one is present and accounted for (If you are a perfect mom I would love it if you would guest write a blog post for my website – please and thank you!).
My friend just had her 2nd baby (OMG, so precious!). Receiving the text that he was born and everyone was healthy and happy brought back so many memories from when I was pregnant (both times). I was so excited/scared/happy/nervous…all the feelings!
There were so many questions running through my mind: How much does child birth hurt? What will he/she look like? Am I going to be a good mom? Should I have an epidural? What if I poop while I am pushing? So many questions!
I thought it might be helpful to list some of the advice I wish I would have received as a new mom.
Advice for New Moms
- You are the mom. Seems obvious, right? Before the baby is born, you read all the books, you take all the classes, and you join all the Facebook groups. You know all the things you should do, all the things you shouldn’t do, and are prepared to be the best parent ever…but once that little baby gets here you might find that those tips and tricks that worked so beautifully for other moms just don’t seem to work for you. I would ask our pediatrician, the lactation consultants, friends, family, and my Facebook groups what I should do and what they recommend, then one day it clicked…I can do whatever I want. I’m the mom! This realization was both scary and empowering. It is a lot of responsibility. DO YOUR RESEARCH, but also know that doctor’s, friends, and family aren’t the enemy. It takes a village, ya know?
- Dress them in the cute outfits. First of all, you don’t need nearly as many outfits as you think you do. All you really need are a bunch of zip up sleepers the first few months. Now having said that, you will have a lot of adorably cute newborn outfits (baby shower gifts, hand-me-downs, and that afternoon stroll through Target). I wanted to save the cutest little outfits for special occasions, but what ended up happening was he/she would outgrow them before there was a special occasion! Don’t save the cute newborn outfits for special occasions. Everyday is a special occasion with a new baby. Dress him in those cute little trousers or her in that frilly little dress and take a trip to the grocery store (Just make sure to take a picture and post it or it didn’t happen!). What I am trying to say is, don’t be like me and wind up with a bunch of clothes that have to go in storage with tags still on them.
3. Breastfeeding is so hard. So much harder than I thought. Sure, it is convenient to not have to wash bottles, but MY GOSH, it sure has its inconveniences too! As the mom you ALWAYS have to be the one to get up every 3 hours through the night. When you go back to work you have to pump every 3 hours (and still nurse all through the night) THEN you have to clean the bottles and clean the pump. You have to make sure you are eating enough calories and drinking enough fluid. It’s exhausting. It is totally worth it and I wouldn’t change it for the world, just know that it isn’t easy.
A great breastfeeding resource is KellyMom.com.
4. It is okay to be a hypocrite. Sort of. I mean it is okay to do the things you said you would never do. We all had to concede. I swore I would never co-sleep or give my kids processed sugary snacks or eat in the car or use tablets/devices to entertain their young budding minds – spoiler alert – I did all of those things. Never say never.
5. You will still look pregnant. Once you have that baby, you will still look pregnant! I mean you will if you gained 70lbs like I did (twice). Talk about a bummer. Just remember: It took 9 months to put it on, so don’t get discouraged if it takes 9 months (or a bit more) to take it off.
Click here if you need a laugh about your new “mom bod” (or if you want to have a laugh at mine).
6. Give Grace. It’s a big adjustment for everyone in your family, so give yourself grace and also be patient with family and friends. They are excited too!
7. Be nice to the nurses and doctors. I mean, do I even have to explain this one? You should always be nice to everyone, but need I remind you that you will be in very vulnerable positions and these professionals will be helping you get through very difficult times while in these very vulnerable positions. Be nice to them!
8. Hold your baby as much as you want. They are only babies for a little while (even though the days feel soooo long in those early weeks). Soak it up. Baby snuggles are one of the few good things about being a new mom (this sound harsh, but having a newborn is hard work!). People will tell you that you are spoiling your baby or that he/she will never learn to sleep on his/her own, but I’ve never met an adult that still needs their parent to rock them to sleep. It’ll all work out. Just try to enjoy that part because you deserve it.
9. Don’t be a hero. Accept help when it is offered because one day the offers stop and you will wish you had it. (by the way, why doesn’t anyone make me freezer meals anymore?)
10. Schedule newborn pictures. My newborn pictures are some of my most prized possessions. They are just so tiny and precious. You think you will remember those tiny toes and that flaky newborn skin forever, but you won’t unless you have pictures.
If you are a veteran mom, what is the best piece of advice you received as a new mom?
I’m not a mom yet but I love reading tips for the future mom in me.
thanks for sharing this.
Ary
Hi Ary, thank you so much for stopping by!