Today is ALL ABOUT things to know about pregnancy for first time moms. I share the things I have learned about pregnancy and delivery after having two kids. I wrote a post earlier called “Advice For New Moms: What No One Tells You, But Everyone Needs To Know” where I discussed all the things I wish I had known before becoming parent. It was one of my earlier posts, and I will admittedly say that I played it a little bit safe. This time, I am going all in!
So, here is your warning! If the words “blood” “tear” or “discharge” give you the heeby-jeebies – DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER. In fact, might I encourage you to read something a little less descriptive, such as Making Your House A Home or How To Be Happy instead?
Okay, let’s get into it – I give you all the things to know about pregnancy for first time moms!
A Disgustingly Beautiful Miracle
First and foremost, I must acknowledge that pregnancy is an absolute miracle. The female body is amazing – AMAZING! I mean, we grow PEOPLE inside of our bodies!! Actual people!
With that being said, it is also completely disgusting. Beautiful, but definitely disgusting. Disgustingly beautiful? I don’t know. People give me the side-eye when I say stuff like this because no one wants to talk about it. Not talking about it doesn’t change the fact that it is gross. Lots of bodily fluids, lots of expanding, lots of grunting, sweating, and pain…you get it.
I think it is important to know these things about pregnancy if you are a first time mom. It’s not that I am trying to scare anyone, or discourage them from procreating. I just felt a little silly, surprised, and taken aback by some of the things I experienced during pregnancy, delivery, and recovery and I want to keep others from feeling the same way I did.
Again, be prepared because I am very loose with the descriptive words.
My Pregnancy Mindset
A quick snapshot:
-I have 2 kids. (Wyatt (5) Reese (3).
-I was induced with both pregnancies.
-I had an epidural with both pregnancies.
I know, I know! There are a lot of hot sports opinions on being induced…getting an epidural…having a hospital birth…
That’s not what this is about. This is about all of the things you should know about pregnancy and delivery as a first time mom. You know, the stuff no one talks about because I guess people think it will prevent women from having babies (Hi, dramatic, nice to see you again!).
What I am trying to say is that I’m not here to defend my parenting/pregnancy/birth choices, nor am I hear to judge yours. I am here to talk about my experience. If you can relate – Great! If you get a laugh – Even better!!
My pregnancy mindset was on trusting my body to do what it was supposed to do during pregnancy. What I mean by that is, unless there was true pain (like can’t function pain) or blood, I tried not to worry too much about it. I didn’t think too much about doctor’s appointments, I didn’t get upset that I gained 900 lbs (that came after delivery), or when they had to do extra testing. Worrying wasn’t going to fix or change anything, so all I had to do was breathe. It was a pretty decent way to be honestly. I didn’t get stressed. I was very low-key, perhaps overcompensating, but still. It worked.
Things To Know About
Pregnancy for First Time Moms
Morning Sickness: Everyone has heard of morning sickness. Morning sickness feels like being hungover 24/7 without the fun, fuzzy memories from the night before. I’ve heard whispers that some women feel great when they are pregnant, but I can’t imagine it’s true.
I had to eat CONSTANTLY in order to keep from feeling nauseated, which in turn caused me to gain 20 lbs during my first trimester. The only saving grace was a combination of B6 & Unisom. I am definitely not a doctor, so speak to yours before taking anything while pregnant. All I’m saying is it helped me feel like a normal person.
The morning sickness usually only lasts for the first trimester, HOWEVER that only seemed to be true when I was pregnant with my son. With my daughter I was sick for at least 20 weeks. Ugh.
Pregnancy Mask: Technically called “Melasma.” It is when the pigment in your skin darkens in certain areas and it looks like you have patches of brown skin. Mine was conveniently on my upper lip. Cute. The good news is that is is generally only temporary.
You can read more about Melasma here.
Pooping While Pushing. I think every woman’s biggest fear is pooping during delivery. In fact, I think that might have even been my husbands biggest fear too. I have no idea if it happened, nor do I want to know. Ignorance is bliss in this particular situation.
Pushing takes an average of 1.5 hours for your first child. I’m not really sure what I was thinking before I had my first baby. When I found out (I found out during labor) that the pushing for your first child is anywhere between 1-2 hours I about lost it. What do you mean? I’ve already been “in labor” for 12 hours” And the doctor doesn’t even come in until the head is almost out. I want an epidural even thinking about it.
The process of pushing itself is not like the movies. Maybe it is if you don’t have an epidural, but mine was really weird. For an hour and a half I would push push push then we would just sit with my legs spread eagle while my husband and the nurse discussed the inequalities of society until it was time to push again. It was like I was in the twilight zone.
You can still feel things even with an epidural. Epidurals don’t eliminate all of the pain. I truly wish they did.
Leaky boobs. Whether or not you decide to breastfeed, your boobs will be a leaky mess until your milk dries up. I chose to breastfeed, which means I had a leaky pair for almost a year.
Invest in breast pads. I forgot to bring some to work with me one day. I leaked through my shirt. It was really snowy and cold outside, so it wasn’t safe for me to just run home and grab a new shirt. Better yet, when my shirt finally dried, I had big milk rings on my chest.
Pooping after you have a baby is terrifying. Not only is pooping during delivery terrifying, but the first time you poop after deliver is more terrifying. The hospital will encourage you to take stool softeners until you finally do go to the bathroom – TAKE THEM!
All the blood. SO MUCH BLOOD. I mean, it makes sense, but I just wasn’t expecting it for whatever reason. While the baby is being delivered…OMG, once you stand up after delivery…every time you go to the bathroom. Blood. Gross.
Also, you will never look at a hospital room in the maternity wing the same ever again. Once you see how everything goes down with the fluids and the tarps (yes, tarps) you will not feel quite as comfortable visiting new parent’s in the hospital.
Tearing. Healing from tearing takes forever. I had a 3rd degree tear with my son and a 2nd degree with my daughter. It took at least 2 months to heal from my first. I’m talking 2 months of sitting gingerly and carefully walking. Not expected. In fact, I didn’t even want to look down there for at least 2 months. When I finally got brave enough to check my situation out it still wasn’t healed. Not cute. Not fun. Not expected.
A quick healing tip, air that bad boy out! Let some air get up in there. Take your britches off and watch a movie! It isn’t a cute look, but it helps! Ha!
I have one more for you – When I finally was healed I had some super healed tissue (there is a medical term for it, but I have no idea what that term is) which looked like a bright red, bloody spot the size of a nickel. I had to have it cauterized 2-3x at my doctors office. Again, not cute, not fun, not expected.
If you find yourself crying for no reason or panicking at the thought of being left alone with your child, you should speak to you doctor. You deserve to enjoy all the baby cuddles you worked so hard for!
Milk supply – Breastfeeding isn’t as natural as you might think. It takes a lot of work, and sometimes, even despite the effort, it just doesn’t pan out.
-You are the ONLY person who can comfort your child through the night for the first year (basically).
-It isn’t always this wonderful bonding experience.
-It is painful.
-Causes cramping
I am not trying to discourage anyone from trying, but I think more women would be successful if they were truly prepared.
A GREAT breastfeeding resource is kellymom.com. Full of great information, helpful tips, and support for new moms!
Catheter: If you get an epidural you have to have a catheter. You don’t feel it, but its weird.
Always a little leaky. I think this is pretty self explanatory. It applies to pregnancy and then for the rest of your life.
Hormones: A week or 2 after having my babies I would have the worst night sweats. Like wake up completely soaked through my clothing night sweats. I can only conclude it was from my hormones trying to level themselves out again, but it was gross and unexpected (like most of the things on this list).
Okay, there you have it! My list of all the things you should know about pregnancy for first time moms. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little exposed, but I am telling myself it is for the greater good.
I’d love to know your thoughts! Did you have a similar experience? Did I leave anything out? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time,
Julie
Love the honesty! I’m planning on getting pregnant this year, and I’ve heard so many horror stories. At this point I’m kind of expecting the worst. Lol. But, I want a baby, and gosh darn it I guess I will go through all this shiz for it!
I’m a soon to be second-time-mom so I appreciate this refresher on what it’s like to deliver a baby! Like you, my first was induced (not expected) AND a got an epidural so this time around, I just know that whatever happens, will happen. I am a nurse so I wasn’t expecting blood and body fluids to bother me, but ugh! I showered twice a day for 6 months after giving birth just to feel clean again. But the sweet little snuggle bug at the end makes it all worth it 🙂
Practical and realistic things to note! These are all the things no one ever tells you about having a baby! Love how honest this is and, after having 2 kids myself, can relate to a TON of this. Pregnancy is beautiful but delivery is certainly not as pretty as everyone says it is.
Definitely not, but the babies at the end make it all TOTALLY worth it!! Thank you for stopping by!
Every pregnancy is different. Even for the same woman. You just have to focus on what’s happening to you and take everything in stride. Otherwise you’re gonna end up having a miserable time
That is so true! Thank you for stopping by!
I loved this! You really shared all the real deal stuff that happens during pregnancy that I really didn’t read much about in the pregnancy books. One thing for me, I did have to be induced as well and ended up with an epidural when it was time for a c-section because the labor wasn’t progressing. What I found was I had ongoing back pain for quite some time. Even now 2 years later, I still get random back spasms. It’s the weirdest thing!
that is weird! the female body is so awesome (and weird!). Thank you for reading!!
Ugh, I wish someone would have told me about the Melasma mask! Three and a half years later I still have a lingering mustache that I can’t seam to kick. This read was great and will definitely pass it on to new expecting moms!
Thank you for reading!! Oh no!! I’m sorry you are still dealing with the pregnancy mask! How frustrating!
It is important to know what to expect. Everyones journey is different though too. In my experience I’ve have two kids both vaginally and with epidurals, but they were two different experiences and recovery. You can have an epidural without feeling anything (depending on how strong it is lol). With my 2nd I literally couldn’t feel anything–so much so the baby was ready yo come out and I had no idea. My dr had to tell me when to push because I couldn’t feel a thing and had no idea when I was having a contraction or when I needed to push (unlike my 1st time). But all these things are good to be aware of!
Mine were both different as well! It is so crazy how that happens!
I’ve had five babies and each experience was so different, but there were similarities. My water broke at home with the first 3, and for babes 4 and 5 I was constantly concerned that it would break while I was out and about. Thankfully, that didn’t happen! Your honesty is refreshing, mama!
OMG I was worried about my water breaking when I was out too!! Thankfully that didn’t happen to me either!!
5 babies! Your house sounds like so much fun!!
You’ve got some really good points in here! Such helpful tips for first time moms! Thanks for sharing!